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1 CONDOM(1)             EUNUCH Programmer's Manual                CONDOM(1)
2
3
4
5 NAME
6         condom - Protection against viruses and prevention of child
7                  processes
8
9 SYNOPSIS
10         condom [options] [processid]
11
12 DESCRIPTION
13         _condom_ provides protection against System Transmitted
14 Viruses (STVs) that may invade your system.  Although the spread of
15 such viruses across a network can only be abated by aware and cautious
16 users, _condom_ is the only highly-effective means of preventing
17 viruses from entering your system (see celibacy(1)).  Any data passed
18 to _condom_ by the protected process will be blocked, as specified by
19 the value of the -s option (see OPTIONS below).  _condom_ is known to
20 defend against the following viruses and other malicious
21 afflictions...
22
23         o AIDS
24         o Herpes Simplex (genital varieties)
25         o Syphilis
26         o Crabs
27         o Genital warts
28         o Gonorrhea
29         o Chlamydia
30         o Michelangelo
31         o Jerusalem
32
33         When used alone or in conjunction with pill(1), sponge(1),
34 foam(1), and/or setiud(3), _condom_ also prevents the conception of a
35 child process.  If invoked from within a synchronous process, _condom_
36 has, by default, an 80% chance of preventing the external processes
37 from becoming parent processes (see the -s option below).  When other
38 process contraceptives are used, the chance of preventing a child
39 process from being forked becomes much greater.  See pill(1),
40 sponge(1), foam(1), and setiud(3) for more information.
41         If no options are given, the current user's login process (as
42 determined by the environment variable USER) is protected with a
43 Trojan rough-cut latex condom without a reservoir tip.  The optional
44 'processid' argument is an integer specifying the process to protect.
45         NOTE: _condom_ may only be used with a hard disk.  _condom_
46 will terminate abnormally with exit code -1 if used with a floppy
47 disk (see DIAGNOSTICS below).
48
49 OPTIONS
50      The following options may be given to _condom_...
51
52         -b BRAND        BRANDs are as follows...
53
54                         trojan (default)
55                         ramses
56                         sheik
57                         goldcoin
58                         fourex
59
60         -m MATERIAL     The valid MATERIALs are...
61
62                         latex (default)
63                         saranwrap
64                         membrane -- WARNING!  The membrane option is _not_
65                         endorsed by the System Administrator General as an
66                         effective barrier against certain viruses.  It is
67                         supported only for the sake of tradition.
68
69         -f FLAVOR       The following FLAVORs are currently supported...
70
71                         plain (default)
72                         apple
73                         banana
74                         cherry
75                         cinnamon
76                         licorice
77                         orange
78                         peppermint
79                         raspberry
80                         spearmint
81                         strawberry
82
83         -r              Toggle reservoir tip (default is no reservoir tip)
84
85         -s STRENGTH     STRENGTH is an integer between 20 and 100 specifying
86                         the resilience of _condom_ against data passed to
87                         _condom_ by the protected process.  Using a larger
88                         value of STRENGTH increases _condom_'s protective
89                         abilities, but also reduces interprocess communication.
90                         A smaller value of STRENGTH increases interprocess
91                         communication, but also increases the likelihood of a
92                         security breach.  An extremely vigorous process or
93                         one passing an enormous amount of data to _condom_
94                         will increase the chance of _condom_'s failure.  The
95                         default STRENGTH is 80%.
96
97         -t TEXTURE      Valid TEXTUREs are...
98
99                         rough (default)
100                         ribbed
101                         bumps
102                         lubricated (provides smoother interaction between
103                                     processes)
104
105         WARNING: The use of an external application to _condom_ in
106 order to reduce friction between processes has been proven in
107 benchmark tests to decrease _condom_'s strength factor!  If execution
108 speed is important to your process, use the '-t lubricated' option.
109
110 DIAGNOSTICS
111         _condom_ terminates with one of the following exit codes...
112
113         -1      An attempt was made to use _condom_ on a floppy disk.
114
115          0      _condom_ exited successfully (no data was passed to
116                 the synchronous process).
117
118          1      _condom_ failed and data was allowed through.  The
119                 danger of transmission of an STV or the forking of a child
120                 process is inversely proportional to the number of other
121                 protections employed and is directly proportional to
122                 the ages of the processes involved.
123
124 BUGS
125         _condom_ is NOT 100% effective at preventing a child process
126 from being forked or at deterring the invasion of a virus (although
127 the System Administrator General has deemed that _condom_ is the most
128 effective means of preventing the spread of system transmitted
129 viruses).  See celibacy(1) for information on a 100% effective program
130 for preventing these problems.
131         Remember... the use of sex(1) and other related routines
132 should only occur between mature, consenting processes.  If you must
133 use sex(1), please employ _condom_ to protect your process and your
134 synchronous process.  If we are all responsible, we can stop the
135 spread of STVs.
136
137 AUTHORS and HISTORY
138         The original version of _condom_ was released in Roman times
139 and was only marginally effective.  With the advent of modern
140 technology, _condom_ now supports many more options and is much more
141 effective.
142         The current release of _condom_ was written by Ken Maupin at
143 the University of Washington (maupin@cs.washington.edu) and was last
144 updated on 10/7/92.
145
146 SEE ALSO
147         celibacy(1), sex(1), pill(1), sponge(1), foam(1), and
148 setiud(3)
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